I recently saw a photo of a guy I had a huge crush on that made me laugh my head off. You know how you talk about a guy to your friends and stress how hot he is and then they ask for a picture and you get defensive when you show them and they don’t look impressed, so you say, “This one doesn’t really do him justice” or “The lighting was bad, I swear he’s hot!”😅 … well, I felt like I was that friend who wasn’t impressed with the “hot guy”🤣!
I always known that it’s best not to judge a book by it’s cover and a few years ago, before my friends gave up on me finding a mate😅, my response, when they requested for a nice picture of me to share with a friend they wanted to hook me up with, was always NO! I told them that they could tell their friend that if he wanted to make a new friend, he could message me or give me a call but otherwise, I would not share a photo so some random guy could judge based on how I looked if I was worth getting in touch with🤬. I remember a close friend, frustrated with my refusing to send a photo, found an old one on her phone to share with her friend. She came back to me to say that the guy was a huge disappointment because he preferred my cousin who was in the photo with me🤣!! She said she kept trying to tell him my cousin was way younger than him but he refused to budge. He only let up when she informed him that I was currently at that cousin’s wedding and still the guy was not interested in me🤣! Na she find trouble!!
Photos don’t tell much about a person or show who the person really is. That’s why tinder never worked for me as I saw serial killers in almost every guy’s photo (I had been watching a lot of ID Xtra shows on DSTV😅) and I had some random and some weird conversations with the ones that made the cut and the entire thing was just a waste of my time. Seeing a photo might attract you to a person but don’t take that too seriously. There’s a whole lot more involved to be genuinely interested in a person and even more so if you would want to be in a relationship with that person. Take my huge crush for example. I don’t even remember the circumstances under which we met, yeah someone introduced us but when I think of who, when, where, or how, I draw blanks. He was just some guy I knew and it wasn’t until a few years later that I woke up one day and realized I had a crush on him. He was a regular guy who would always step in when someone needed help and do something that needed to be done without waiting for someone to ask. If someone had shown me a photo of him as a way of introduction, I would have said, “Pass!! He has serial killer eyes🤣”. The photo didn’t show his smile that made my heart go … thud … thud … thud … every damn time or his quick wit that always made me laugh or his just letting me be but being there when he knew I was mad at him or his excitement when we were friends again which was evident by how much gist he had been saving up until I wasn’t mad at him anymore and which he tried to tell me all at once 🤣! Alas, he wasn’t “The One” but we’ve remained friends.
My reaction to seeing his photo and my thoughts afterwards made me realize that I might have been unwittingly judging some books by their covers or more accurately, by our first brief interactions. I’ve always thought that relationships should be easy at first, because you’re just getting to know each other, and if you need to have very serious conversations early in the getting-to-know-you phase, it’s just not worth the energy. After some self reflection, I’ve found that my heart still desires a love that develops over time but, for the first time, I am thinking of books I never opened, wondering if I should just open them and see what I’ll find😁.
xoxo
The Enigma that is me 