imageYou need to change your hairstyle
You need to lose weight
You need to put on a bit of weight
You need a boyfriend
You need to get married
You need to dress better
You need to tone down your dressing a notch
You need to be more approachable
You need to…
You need to…
You need to…

It’s amazing how other people think that they are experts on how you should live your life. They pass comments and judgment to your face or behind your back on how you ought to comport yourself. I admit that there is generally acceptable behaviour and that some people just ain’t right but isn’t that just another excuse to judge one another. Who decides or determines what is generally acceptable and what’s not? Who says that you know what’s better for your neighbour than he or she himself? This know-it-all attitude dates back to the old days as is evident in Matthew 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” and you’ll agree with me that it’s easier to point out someone else’s flaws than figure out our own. I know this because I am no different. We are all a judgmental lot.

I know someone who is very scattered in every sense of the word. In fact if you look up the word scattered in a dictionary, you should find an image of her in all her disheveled glory. I recently met her hubby and it baffled me how this well arranged man could fall for, let alone marry, his complete opposite. There are no obvious similarities between them but this man loves her just the way she is, whether or not I think they’re a good match.

At one of the numerous weddings I attended recently, I wore a beautiful dress that a lady disapproved of. In all honesty, when she beckoned me to come closer, I thought she needed help getting up the steps in front of the reception hall. Instead, she read me the riot act, saying I was the reason people didn’t give their lives to Christ when they (she and her cohorts) went on evangelical missions. She didn’t know me but she practically insulted me and her plan was to humiliate me *whatever happened to correcting in love*. I love my dress and was comfortable in it so I found her comments hilarious. When she was done with her tirade, I smiled and walked away. Riddle me this, are Christians like me the reason people don’t give their lives to Christ or are Christians like her the real reason? Let’s say for instance, that I wasn’t a Christian, would the best way to lead me to Christ be by shaming me into it? Isn’t this the very attitude of the Pharisees and Sadducees in the Holy Bible? According to her, I didn’t look like a Christian but who’s to say that she, in her Christian look, isn’t a closet sinner.

It may seem that I have digressed a bit from the topic of discussion but I beg to differ as both scenarios talk about one person judging the other from a narcissistically superior point of view as it’s easy to pass judgment on others when their ‘bad behaviour’ is more on display than ours. Many won’t agree that a rich greedy man is as selfish as a poor miserly man because the poor man’s ‘crime’ is more evident but you would agree with me that in both scenarios, nothing changed in the lives of the ‘offenders’ as a result of the opinion of others. The scattered lady is happily married and has a kid and my disapproved dress is hanging in the wardrobe to be worn another day.

It’s our honest opinion of ourselves that truly matters and so, to all my critics, your opinions have been duly noted *see picture above*.



4 thoughts on “Whose opinion really matters?

  1. I went for a wedding sometime in 2010… I was sitted with 4 friends and the next table to ours, sitted 4 hot girls alll single (no rings on their fingers). And the table next to the girls were a couple of let’s say in their mid/early 70’s. The couple kept talking bout how scantily clad looking d girls looked but to I n my friends they were HOT. Then, a young couple were walking towards us, d wife wore a very lovely gown(less fabric more flesh). I must confess the wife was extremely ugly coupled with her pregnancy and d husband was fine. The girls started talking bout the ugliness of d lady/how handsome the guy was and to my surprise the old couple(the husband) said “THAT’S WHY SHE’S MARRIED and u lot (the 4 hot girls) are not. I LOL but looked closely the wife(young couple) dressing was not far fetched from what the other girls wore.

    1. Hahaha! People will always talk. The older couple criticized the outfits of the four girls, only to say something else the next minute. Is ugliness the key to bagging a man? Or is it not dressing slutty? The truth is that there isn’t one sure fire way to marriage of any other thing for that matter. Or the scattered woman would still be very single. We can’t control who offers us their unwanted opinions but we definitely have control over how it effects us.

  2. You are right dear. Always good to believe in yourself and appreciate yourself and what you do. That way no bad comment can bring you down. We are all different with different opinions, ideas, likes and dislikes, everyone thinks theirs is the best.

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