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Corny, I know but I’m currently reading this humorous book and having a number of light bulb moments. The problem is not that we babes are simpletons but that we expect the guys we are into to know that we know that they are full of crap. And we expect them to treat us differently cos we love them warts and all. We often forget that a leopard never loses its spots but then again even the most notorious of bad boys settle down eventually.

I’ve come to realize that love is a game of chance. You really can’t tell from the beginning whether a love would be lasting or fleeting. Your best bet is to give it all you’ve got and hope that it turns out ok. In giving it all you’ve got, you have to ‘shine you eye’ though. Never let anyone (man or woman) take your love for granted.

Here are 20 pointers in the right direction.

He’s not that into you….

1. If he’s not making an effort to convince you that he’s into you. Especially after you’ve told him that you don’t believe he’s into you.

2. If although he is scared of the concept of love, he is willing to try with someone else, not you. He tried with the girl before you and with the girl after you. What makes you think he’ll come back to try with you? And why would you still want him?

3. If he isn’t around when you need him the most.

4. If he ditches you on your birthday with a flimsy excuse. Even a legit excuse is unacceptable without prior notification/grovelling.

5. If he doesn’t make it up to you after ditching you on your birthday.

6. If he kisses you passionately and then doesn’t call the next day.

7. If he is not willing to commit. No such thing as a commitment phobe. It’s just another way of saying ‘I’m just not that into you’. If he were into you, he would commit. Even veteran players commit eventually.

8. If he is always too busy to see you.

9. If he constantly lies to you.

10. If he visits you empty handed when you’re ill.

11. If he forgets to call you when he said he would.

12. If he’s married. Shame on you if you ever thought he’d leave his wife for you, no matter how badly you want him.

13. If you tell him how much you’re into him and he says ‘I’m into you too’. And then he does nothing with the information.

14. If he dumps you ‘cos you won’t sleep with him.

15. If you have to fight for his attention. He can spend about an hour watching a game without being forced to, why should you have to fight to get his attention?

16. If he doesn’t spend money on you. He doesn’t have to foot your bills but at least he can take you out once in a while and there’s no harm in buying you those earrings you like or the ‘hers’ to his ‘his’ perfume.

17. If he avoids being seen in public with you. Your mantra should be – Only serious candidates should come and holla. I ain’t gon’ be your undercover lover.

18. If he’s toasting your bff while he is toasting you. Take a hint. Not only is he not into you, he doesn’t respect you either.

19. If he always introduces you with just your name.

20. If he doesn’t keep in touch when he’s out of town. Out of sight shouldn’t be out of mind if he’s into you.

Actions speak louder than words. It’s easier for a guy to say ‘I smoke weed *pause for dramatic effect* I guess you’re gonna dump me now’ than ‘I’m just not that into you’. In the words of Greg Behrendt, Don’t waste the pretty.

Please feel free to comment with your own ‘He’s not that into you’ hints.

xoxo

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9 thoughts on “He’s just not that into you…

    1. From my point of view, it’s a criteria. No matter how you look at it – a serious relationship or even a fling – a guy ditching me on my birthday is a no no. It’s not too much to ask for him to be with me on my birthday. Notice that I didn’t say forgetting my birthday. It’s not that that’s allowed but I can compromise and agree that he forgot. But for him to know that it’s my birthday and he ditches me?!!!!! No way! He must not be into me at all.

    1. I agree that holding on to that 0.5%, as you put it, might reap dividends one day but I fear that the entire relationship might not be as fulfilling as one would expect. Is this person that you know happy? Was it worth it in the end? And by ‘the end’, I don’t mean a wedding. Is he or she in a fulfilling relationship or marriage? Are they both equal partners or is he/she the one carrying the relationship?

  1. Lovely post, women cannot get tired of hearing this (it’s not like it’ll change anything but hey keep warning them) 😉
    As for the birthday one I agree 100% jare, same with Valentine’s day. These 2 days are important to girly girls and if he cared enough he’d know that about you. It’s not really about the day in itself, it’s about the value he places on the things that are important to you, shikena!

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